Living in New York City is not without its challenges: sky-high rents, overcrowding and a consistently manic pace. But those who suffer it do so for the trade-offs: great art, great food and great entertainment. Besides its 8 million residents, visitors also pass through here in droves, making it a great market for… just about anything. Enter Zoolander 2 and Kiehl’s cross-promotional stunt: The Derek Zoolander Center for People Who Don’t Age Good (or DZCFPWDAG to those in the know).
The center was open for youthification for five days, coinciding with the Zoolander 2 New York City premiere and New York Fashion Week. We couldn’t possibly expect to parade around the city in our unyouthified state, especially not with all the celebrities, models and street-style stars in our midst, so we headed over stat.
We first stepped on the Aging Scale which advised us that we, unfortunately, aged not so good.
So they immediately sent us for decontamination.
And then had us “breathe in youth and breathe out age”. I didn’t feel the age leaving my body, but in my defense, my nostrils stopped working when I was five.
We were counseled on the appropriate pants-to-nipple ratio (a public service announcement to address the ongoing crisis, of course — we must all do our part), then we were ushered into a meditation area. Once we completed all the steps in the youthification process, we were asked to document the proof of our youth. While we were offered the Derek Zoolander Lookbook of Really Really Ridiculously Good-Looking Looks as inspiration, we were warned not to attempt any of the cutting-edge poses lest we hurt ourselves. It was a state-of-the-art, innovative multi-faceted process that zapped our oldness away. Folks, do not try this at home.
Paired it with:
Dinner at by CHLOE.
When fashionistas descend on the city, the average dress size drops precipitously and most of us are left with a sense of guilt and shame over the chocolate croissant we devoured that morning. This, then, is the moment to visit by CHLOE, a trendy vegan joint in SoHo. The Chloe referenced in the name is none other than Chloe Coscarelli, a vegan herself, and the first one to win a televised cooking competition (Cupcake Wars). Everything here is made from scratch, and many will confess that the burgers, creative salads and interesting desserts appeal to vegans and non-vegans alike. So if you’d like to graze with the gazelles during Fashion Week, make your way over here. Or just come when they’ve all left and order two of everything. It’ll still be healthier than ordering a McDonald’s Kale Salad.
185 Bleecker Street
Sunday 10AM to 10PM
Monday – Tuesday 11AM to 10PM
Wednesay – Friday 11AM to 11PM
Saturday 10AM to 11PM